Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Welfare questions

I don't know if this is true or not. Enjoy it for it's humorous value if for nothing else.

ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS ON WELFARE APPLICATIONS:

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children. Can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

This is my eight child, what are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead; the man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake, as you will see.

My husband got his project cut off 1 week ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 months and he doesn't doe me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

1 comment:

Comments are moderated. Comment to your heart's content. I will not publish all comments but only the best of those that are pithy, relevant, smart and in good taste.

About Me

Seeking the truth until I find it.